Now on to more important and pressing matters. I am on OK Cupid and YES I went on a date. It was a couple weeks back, but I have not had a chance to address it. OH MY GEEZ, this whole process was a doozy of a reintroduction to singledom, let me tell you! Before I get into it, I'd like to talk about the nuances of online personal ads.
Where should I begin? I joined OK Cupid about a month ago and immediately started getting messages (seriously. Literally within minutes. Down boys!) from lots of seemingly nice guys, all in/around my area, some of them even somewhat attractive (others, well, there's someone for everyone, right?!) One evening, while clicking away trying to make sense of the percentages and to answer question after question on the site (seriously, have you been on this site? There are hundreds of questions, some I am sure I have answered more than once.) Then, after you answer a question, you have to answer how your ideal match would answer AND THEN rank it from VERY IMPORTANT to WHATEVS to gauge if that particular issue even matters to you in the first place. Let's just say, this tedium is sometimes an unwelcome chore when you just want to watch tee vee on the internets and eat an entire bag of Pepperidge Farm Milanos at the end of the day. In any case, I got a message from Adam (NOT HIS REAL NAME.) He's older (and let's face it shorter) than I am looking for, but thought why not. He seemed to check off all of my other superficial boxes. What are those boxes you ask? Here ya go!
-environmentally conscious
-passionate about *something* he's doing in life
-interested in music (big one for me actually)
-reads books
-seems to have a personal style (other than khaki shorts and polo shirts. This may sound discriminatory and like I'm judging a book by its cover. It is, and I am. Don't worry, the guy on the other side is doing it too.)
-uses good grammar, spelling, punctuation (which I am currently not doing.) Bonus points if he seems to have a good vocabulary.
-if he seems to like to exercise
-if he seems to like to either cook or try new foods
These are all the areas I look for in an online forum. Obviously there are things that these profiles don't tell me. They don't tell me things like what he really looks like, what his voice sounds like, his overall body language, how he interacts with others, his bad habits, how clean he keeps his house, what his life was like growing up, how he regards women, if we will actually have something to talk about, what kind of health problems he has, if I will actually find him physically attractive, or if he is even a functioning human being, for instance. Because yeah man, it's easy to say "I care about the environment. I'm passionate about music. I read lots of books and pay attention to grammar and usage. I exercise when I can and I know my way around the kitchen!" Seriously, that's my ideal online guy right there! However, you can say anything you want in those little boxes, it's what you do about it that counts.
I must say, looking back, many of the guys I've dated would've passed my initial online checklist, but to be honest, otherwise may not look have looked "good on paper" or seemed attractive to me just by their photographs. I feel I can be honest with you, blog reader you. I befriended my most recent ex-boyfriend on Facebook before we met in person. (I hate you Facebook. That's for another entry.) We were about to work on the same supervisory team and all of us became friends and wrote to one another before we all arrived for our various jobs. It was a special case. Anyway, to be honest with you, I didn't think I'd have much in common with Brian (NOT HIS REAL NAME) nor did I necessarily find him attractive going by his pictures alone. Then we met in person and it was pretty hard to separate us from day one. I did NOT see that coming.
So this leads me to think...WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW? Do I even really know what I like beyond the basics? Should I answer the messages from military guys whose interests include skiing and watching Dog the Bounty Hunter? Is the guy who is blonder/shorter/heavier/skinnier/dorkier and less of all the other things I think I like any less worth getting to know? How many people do I know who are dating/engaged/married to their partners who say "Yes, I wouldn't have pictured myself with someone like So-and-so but I'm so happy I am?" I know quite a few actually.
It definitely adds yet another dimension to online dating at least. The funny thing is, deep down, I know to trust my instincts. They never fail me. Not once. Until I get the hang of this, I am approaching this like I do everything: with cautious optimism.
Well, if you've been following along, I did in fact write Adam (NOT HIS REAL NAME) back. --- Tune in this week for the rest of the story and more thoughts about dating in the modern world when I return --- SUSPENSE!
In the meantime, watch this video. I love the animation and the lyrics to the song. I don't understand the one armed sad Panda, but I love it just the same. Enjoy!
Until next time, thanks for reading! Chances are, I think you're way cool.
love,
Olive (Oil).
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